Straight Pride Parade Organizers Receive Suspicious Packages—Full of Glitter

Gays have a secret weapon they use at the most dire times: glitter. And the organizers of Boston’s upcoming Straight Pride Parade now know this first hand.

According to CNN, at least three members of Super Fun America, the group behind the parade, received stuffed envelopes in the mail with no return address.

“I went out to my mailbox and there was an envelope in there with my name and address, no return address, the back was very heavily taped up and when I shook it I heard stuff shaking around inside,” said Samson Racioppi, one of the organizers.

After Racioppi called the police because of the package’s “strange appearance,” a hazmat team shut down his street to traffic and told neighbors to evacuate while the suspicious package was being investigated.

Once opened, the envelope was revealed to contain glitter along with a handwritten note. Racioppi claims at least two other Super Fun America members received similar packages.

Anyone who has come in contact with glitter knows that, like Lady Gaga famously says, “Being gay is like glitter. It never goes away.”

As NewNowNext previously reported, the Straight Pride Parade is tentatively scheduled to take place on August 31 in Boston, with conservative troll Milo Yiannopoulos as grand marshal.

“This parade is a gift to anyone, male or female, black or white—gay and transgender allies, too!—who will stand with us and celebrate the wonder and the majesty of God’s own heterosexuality,” said Yiannopoulos. “Men, bring your most toxic selves. Women, prepare to burn your briefcases! Because it’s great to be straight, and we’re not apologizing for it any more. We’re Here, Not Queer.”

Sure, Jan.

I write about drag queens. Dolly Parton once ruffled my hair and said I was “just the cutest thing ever.”

@chrisreindeer


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